Wednesday, May 24, 2017

to live, Love anything

Fear, despair are like the bulky clouds, covering us all over. Remember it is not as if the sun, like Love, dies, or fades, or fails to sustains us, though we cannot see it, or feel the immediacy of its heat.

Of course beneath the cloudy illusion the sunlight of love continues even as the clouds darken everything and make it appear as though variations of dark painful feelings are the only ones to feel and greys the only colors on the vast and various earth. 

No dears, these clouds are just resting here. They've come to take holiday in this region for a time; to see the liberty statue and the lovely park that was once a lovely garbage dump that we are so proud of here on Staten Island. But the sun remains behind it all. 

Remember that same sun guided the soft earth lovingly through years of being dumping Ground to manifest its vision of being a park for leisure and rest. And that Light has endowed the Statue of Liberty's torch to guide the lost to foundness once. Even now we must believe, that torch inspires something inside; revealing to our own spirits a vision of a new dream of America better than the one we left behind. 

But on the dark days, what we keep forgetting is that the light is always lit from the inside. Our own hearts are our home.
The world will go grey, and the dream will be confused and dismal, and there will be years when your land is famous for its dumping ground. But my love, this sun will not stop. 
Because we have loved every day. Every day I have looked into eyes familiar and I hear words kindly spoken off guard on days when I was ready to put down this torch and give up on even looking up to see if a change was going to come.
 But then when you feel arms wrap you, even if only in a memory almost long forgot, there will be a reason why the sun feels too good to not wait for it to come around again. And girl, the outside sun will come again. It must. Because love is like that, and its everywhere. It's your own heart. It's all you got.
 That's the part they don't say. I've felt that sun inside hot and it beats hard when you remember to love anything at all.
Sweetheart, just find some one, some thing, anything and love it hard. With no requirement. Just for your sake. Like the way you water a flower. Or watch out for an animal to make sure it crosses a road safely. Love for its sake. It'll keep you warm.

Monday, May 22, 2017

Blemish

This morning I woke with a blemish (I think that's what the fancy ladies call it, In my day it was a pimple). Regardless, somewhere I learned that I should not show it to you but I did not take to the lesson or its logic because faces make blemishes with some regularity and as far as I can tell we all have faces that function similarly, And so are we to be ashamed for having faces? So instead I say, look at the fine blemish I created and how effortlessly that I created it while sleeping! Imagine that! I mean, how many things do you create while sleeping? No wonder I decide to be proud of it. It's a fine one I think, fine as any I've seen. And I bet it marks just exactly the place that some loved one has kissed. In fact, I'm certain that it has come to surface to remind me. Maybe my skin longs for that kiss again and it's reaching out for those lips. Maybe the lips of one who has passed. And so who can blame that soft skin, the way it reaches for the softness. The body remembers and the body longs for a body that it has never forgotten and never quite disconnected from. Yes in the end, we are all the same and all still connected and so if my body should reach out for yours, or yours for mine in any manor with kindness even in this strange subtle manor, let it not be a shame. If your face rise up to meet mine whether lips to lips or otherwise let it rise and if I am able our faces will meet. For I am certain that everything is an expression of love somehow. And for this, of being a part of this, I am proud. Or maybe it's just a pimple. What ever. We are all still beautiful and need love all the same and I don't mind if you see.

Friday, May 19, 2017

She

In my speech, the default is she. Because I am a woman and I should be at the center of my own generalized perspective. I get to be the center of my own world. You don't need to take that as a personal offense, but you can if you want to. It is remarkable to think that me being the center of my own world is actually revolutionary and the converse to our language and thereby our cultural thought. Every woman in our culture has been taught to think by a man's perspective. Every woman has been viewing the world through the eyes of someone else. We have no idea what it is like to be at the center of our own lives, generally speaking (literally). We literally don't even have the words to speak it. Well, now she does.

Atheists for God (for Love)

Sisters, brothers and all the divine queer undefinable in between, if you hear me, The next time you say your name, speak it like it's the name of God(dess) because it is. You can be nothing but God(dess), what else can there be? And what is God(dess) but another name for love, and if it is anything other than love, then it is time we reconsidered the concept of divinity and became atheists guided only by the signs and symbols which the heart recognizes as kindnesses between souls.

Little Jewel

The unique prism of your jeweled being is set upon this earth to reflect the light uniquely, in a way only you can, in a shape, pattern, form, that can only happen upon this earth once. You will speak the glory of what the light can make and there is no mistake in your unique nature. The light will shift through you in endless permutations. Try not to make a home in any one pattern or shape. Each will change into a new beautiful still-changing thing which will again come and pass beautifully through this world of endlessly changing forms.
So You do not like this about your life, your body, you partner? Take heart. The light shifts through each divine jewel, each perfect and the next facet might prove to suit you better than this.
Until then, find the common loveliness if you can. Find the light that streams through it all. See everything illuminated. Beautiful in its way.
Love illuminates so that you can see all the beauty of the thing if you choose to see, if you look long and deep.
And do you imagine yourself the exception? Hardly friend, you are illuminated and are illuminating those around you and in case, if you cannot see or do not dare, I tell you, you are ravishing.
When you are able to know your substance as the same light as the stars and shifting as the seasons then you will know the freedom to direct the light through whatever facet pleases you best.

You've always been illuminated from within. You are made of divine love and beautiful stuff and cannot help but glow. By nature you are a treasure of unnamed worth and so shift as you like, explore your own shimmering being, you are invited to do so, but know change will lead on to change, only the light is constant and to me you are stunning and beloved all the same. And so gratefully together may we shine in our way, in whatever way brings us peace.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Embodied

I stand tall and walk unapologetically with short shorts and a bikini top on the boardwalk, asking for nothing but for the sunlight to touch my skin and the breeze to cool me down. Gaze if you choose, or don't; either way, I move contented. I was not born for you to affirm or deny with a glance. I was made to enjoy this earth, this life. If you should appreciate my form, and if it should bring a smile, let it be. I am in no way to deny a smile to anyone. But I assure you, friend, if once you learned my name and spoke a sentence toward me of worth, I should have offered you a great deal more substantial a moment. There is such abundance beneath the surface of people, do not underestimate any body. Sisters, can you hear me also? Do not underestimate, however beautiful you may be, more beauty still lies within each, of this I am certain. I've yet to find an exception, even in strangers' eyes I see, I know I see.

Bloom

I see now a rose in the center of an intersection in full bloom and I can't help but notice how the cars do their best to drive around it. Even now I know everyone holds in their heart A love of beauty that they can't avoid even at their hardest, even when they hurt the most. Even then they can't be the one- the first to crush the bloom; no one has a heart made of that. And in secret I expect that some even wish that it was left for them. I could have taken it, friend I might have, I'm wild like that, but no dear one; I left it for you to prove to you that you have a heart as soft as a bloom in traffic and that everyone can be trusted even on the worst day, with your sweetness and I adore you, I am your admirer and I left it there for you to find. I hope you find it pristine, soft, full of life and It calls to you, reminding you how beautiful and soft and precious you are and how lovely this life is and that I'm grateful to share with you.

Mothers' Day

We are all just moving to the flow of creation which moves us toward. And Toward, I keep walking and now I see the lovely Gentleman who works at the health food store rushing out to greet me, his name -Spence. Spencer as given by his adored mother and he is sure to send love and a particularly large hug to mine every time we meet. Today is his birthday, on Mother's Day, and he rushes to give me a hug. He's the sort of man who never hesitates to wrap you in his arms even when you carry with you a face full of New York. And he calls me to it- why such an angry face? He asks. Truth is, I've no idea why, I've just taken to it the way one assumes a lean while waiting for a bus even if ones body isn't tired and is fully capable of an upright posture. I'm actually content.
I tell him I was just waiting for his hug which instantly brightens up the whole sky, and the sun did break free at that moment of his embrace, and I tell him we were all waiting for him so we can break free, and so he was born today and I am glad that he was, and I told him so. I am glad that he was and I am glad that we were born from our mothers on any day and reborn on any day that we choose to live again. Today I have chosen with your help, to live, and every day that anyone reaches out and calls to me with arms and with words, thank you for calling me back, you have rebirthed me, from some unconscious resting posture which would have me miss the beauty of now. You remind me of the sweetness of this life and so now I choose it again. And again.

Friday, May 12, 2017

love is the law

The only law is to love and you do not speak the law, or demand it, you recite it, or sing it, like a song or a poem and you know you have broken the law the way you know you have broken a rhythm. You feel off, lost. You lose the next step, the next word, the track skips, your heart falters over its next beat. It's as if you have come to the end of the line of a poem then you lose your place on the page. All of a sudden, you find yourself making it up, standing alone, going off book- panic. You've lost the beauty of your words, and the flow, and now they sound harsh and loud and hard. It's ok. It happens. Breathe. To find your place again, stop, quite down, you'll feel the beat within you. You'll find you, there and it's all you, just you. Just breathe and put your hand on your heart. Feel it? There you are sweetheart. Home, safe. The only law is love, and you are love. So you just be you, you just do you, you just breath and feel your precious heartbeat, and you'll be alright.

evolve on

Come now, don't tease yourself. Today is nothing like yesterday, or the day before. We must be getting immensely stronger with every passing day that we choose to smile and continue on instead of fall to bits. I've known you from creation (yes YOU!) and I'm certain You've grown rather large since that one cell I once rested beside and all because we, you and I, insisted that we should continue on, and onward we go. For the mere experience of the thing, let's see what more we can become from here....