feelings

Sometimes I can trace a feeling like a kite string soaring up into the clouds or a line plunging into the depths of the sea. Only so far, only so far, and then.... I wonder at it, where it would take me, if I would follow through the unclear, uncertain. I imagine it opens wide and spacious and somehow empties out into the same vast peaceful ocean. I'm sure I saw it once in a dream. Ever since then I had hoped for a heaven like that. Even still, I can't seem to muster the courage to sit with insecurities long enough to even feel a tug on the cord or for the kite to catch any real wind worth a damn, though every string would lead me to a world nicer than the short cramped heavy-hearted places I've known.